In this series, we’ve been doing a deep-dive on the topic of forgiveness, discussing various definitions and applications of it. Today we are going to contemplate another layer of forgiveness as we identify the source through which forgiveness is derived.
Lesson #46 from A Course in Miracles states, “God is the Love in which I forgive,” and continues on with a radical statement. “God does not forgive…” it says, which is quite contrary to anything we have learned in our lives about God or Source. Continuing on, “…because He has never condemned.”
As humans, we are very familiar with a sort of three-step process to practicing forgiveness. Step one would be some inciting incident or trigger that causes step two, some sort of grievance we take on, and then finally step three, the act of forgiveness, which we have previously defined as the active decision to rid one’s self from the illusion or nightmarish perspective on a situation. Of course, God being all-loving and all-powerful, He does not succumb to the suffering of grievances which we do, and therefore He does not need to forgive as he has never condemned.
In A Course in Miracles, there is commonly this departure from what people expect, or what is commonly believed in traditional culture. The God described in the Old Testament (and also at times in the New Testament) is described to be a wrathful and righteous God, dedicated to disciplining mankind, his children, for the injustices that we commit. We also live in a justice-focused world. “You do the crime, you pay the time.” This is contrasted with the description of a God that never condemns in the first place. In actuality, God doesn’t holding anything against anyone.
The entire normalized conversation around practicing forgiveness is only appropriate to mankind, as it is natural for us to feel suffering and grievances. We can’t even fathom a level of unconditional forgiveness that exists when you never condemn in the first place. Even with the people we love the most, it seems impossible not to judge, criticize, and condemn.
That being said, the topic of today’s lesson in focus is that God is the ultimate Source of forgiveness, the Love in which we forgive. The course goes on to say, “Yet although God does not forgive, God’s love is nevertheless the basis for forgiveness.” God’s love is so powerful, that we are automatically forgiven. There is an active ingredient in God’s love which allows only space for forgiveness, nothing on the opposite end of the spectrum. The duality between forgiveness and non-forgiveness only exists in the human realm. God is pure love and in God’s love, nothing negative exists, in the same way that water can only be wet, and dryness only exists in the absence of water, as non-forgiveness lies in the absence of God’s love.
This lesson leads us into a very simple exercise to practice forgiveness. Spend a minute or two searching your mind for people who have not forgiven. It doesn’t matter how much you have forgiven them; either you have forgiven them or you have not at all. Anyone whom you do not like should be included on this list, as well as any negative thoughts you are attached to or are weighing you down. You can even follow up this listing exercise by reciting the mantra, “Let miracles replace all grievances.” With this, you should initiate the process of letting things go: forgiving and ultimately forgetting.
While it is an excellent goal to strive to live in a constant state of unconditional forgiveness toward everyone you encounter in life, it is also important to understand how to create healthy boundaries with people who mistreat you. I never advise using forgiveness as a substitute for healthy and peaceful relationships and interactions. If someone is treating you in a way that is unacceptable, according to your own standards of how you would like to be treated, you have every right to create the necessary boundaries and distance from that person or situation to ensure that the mistreatment does not continue to occur. This is not contrary to forgiveness. It is completely possible to forgive someone while maintaining a safe distance from them. No one is entitled to access to your entire life and/or a position to harm you in any way, whether that harm be physical, emotional, or mental. Forgiveness is simply the act of releasing the negative emotions and story behind a past event itself. Forgiveness should always be paired with awareness and healthy boundaries, when needed.
In summary, no matter how someone has wronged you in the past, with God’s love as the source, you are able to forgive them.
